Kneadful Things

Gluten was my girlfriend and the bitch dumped me....Bouchon

Well, it's official. I have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease or an allergy to gluten. 1 in 133 people are thought to suffer from celiac disease, though fewer than 1 in 4,000 are ever diagnosed. I had an a-typical presentation of the disease, making it one of the VERY LAST things they tested for. Me, the author of KNEADful Things can no longer eat bread....well normal "grain" bread that is. This is going to require a serious level of creativity on my behalf.  The world of food is a far different place for me now. Gone are the days of the hot pretzel sharing with my husband or the goodnight cookie. Thank Heavens for Babycakes. My doc says that eventually, once I am done having kids, a bite of wheat here or there might exacerbate my issues, but won't kill me. I could feel my heart sinking lower and lower into my incompetent intestines.

Baking cookies is one of my all time favorite activities. How am I supposed to be able to adequately judge the result? Rely on my husband's opinion? I think NOT! I am going to have to become an awesome candy and chocolate maker, most of which you can rid of any gluten.

How am I going to go out to eat at these wonderful restaurants where the chef basically takes over the entire process for you? Answer? I won't. I feel relegated to the crunchy type joints typically only found in artsy sections of town. It also raises another interesting quandary. How do I continue to only eat fish and not meat? Wheat Gluten is found in most of the vegetarian products on the market. I am really going to have to dig deep into my recipe archives, pour over ingredient lists with a fine toothed comb, and become EVEN more proactive about my health. Ain't life grand?

I have found a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. One of my favorite treats, Parisian-style macaroons are already gluten-free. The light, fluffy, slightly sweet wonders of the patisserie are made solely with egg-whites, sugar, almonds, and sometimes coconut or other flavorings. Thank God for small blessings. Bouchon is currently featuring a delicious meyer-lemon macaroon that has to be made of a lemon flavored cloud, because that is exactly how it tastes. The cookie part of the macaroon melts in your mouth with a subtle lemon-orange flavor that is exactly what you expect of a great meyer lemon. The filling is slightly more tart with a heavier aroma of lemon. They were wonderful and unexpected. God Bless Thomas Keller.

Can you build a green bakery? They Can! (and yet another bit about baked)

How do you build a green bakery? Well, for starters you rent a wee bit of a joint on first avenue. Then you partner up with the uber-popular City Bakery. Next is you use environmentally stable "green" building products and decor. After all that is said and done, you fill it with warm people and yummy baked goods. The picture above is of a "baker's muffin" which was a great, not-too-sweet muffin made "monkey bread" style with walnuts, raisins, cinnamon, and apples. The outside stays really crunchy and wonderful, while the inside is fluffy and light. It almost reminds me of a sort of hodge podge cinnamon bread that would be really great warm with maple syrup.

As Alton Brown would say...."Golden Brown and Delicious"

I know you guys are tired of hearing my light hearted longings of Baked in Red Hook. But they have a new cake. A new GRASSHOPPER cake. Yes, a chocolate cake with mint buttercream frosting. I am having inappropriate thoughts about this cake. The rich dark chocolate ganache between the layers, the smooth, minty, cool buttercream, the lighter-than-air chocolate cake, the chocolate cookie garnish. I don't know what part I want to dream about first. All that I know is that those little females in the green uniforms have a serious run for their money here. Thin Mint what? York who? It's all about the Baked. (And hey, anyone who can go on Martha Stewart and hold their own without being frazzled by how patronizing that woman is? They have my vote)

City Bakery, Nasty Cupcake at Cupcake Cafe

It's that time of year again, time for the City Bakery on 18th street to have it's 15th annual Hot Chocolate Festival. Yeah. So far, I have imbibed several of their flavors (They offer a shot cup of hot cocoa which is just enough for lil' old me!) My hubby on the other hand goes all out on the mucho grande-as-big-as-your-head size with the optional homemade marshmallow. I have tried so far, ginger, banana peel, caramel, darkest chocolate, and yesterday......beer. I actually liked it. Go figure. I felt a little like a pre-menstrual Homer Simpson....beer....chocolate....ahhhh. All that I needed were some donuts. It was very creamy with a sort of malty? flavor. Though there wasn't really any alcohol, it was still very yum delish. I was very surprised. But also very happy to oblige my chocolate craving. Oh, and for all of you that couldn't tell by the pictures my hubby is Chinese, so from Us to You, Happy New Year, it's the year of the boar so eat up!

In lieu of donuts, and city bakery's delicious cookies, I wanted to try the cupcake cafe's cupcakes. I wish that I hadn't. First of all it was ICE cold, OVERPRICED, (2.70 for a MINI cupcake) and drier than heck. The frosting grossed me out so much, that I spit it back into the bag. I ordered the maple walnut flavor, which might not have been a good idea, but I wanted something different. The only thing going for it was that it was pretty, but that was no saviour, belive you me. Man, I wish I would have just gone to Baked, one of my all time favorite bakeries, where the cupcakes are always pretty and delish, and on mondays? Only a buck. Don't go to the cupcake cafe on 18th street.

You could bake your own cupcakes for what they charge for 1 of their minis. Total Waste.

Jacques Torres Chocolate Haven, Downtown Atlantic cupcake review. Oh and 5 year olds in strollers.

Wasn't Saturday just unbelievably gorgeous? I was literally walking around in a tee shirt and light sweater. (Very Light, thin cashmere, in fact.) And since I was a stupid person and lost the needed weight I gained over Christmas, I dragged my hubby, (He claims I dragged him, that is just his way of saying "No, I don't love chocolate as much as a pre-menstrual woman",though he does.) To the BIG Jacques Torres Chocolate Haven on Hudson in Manhattan, for some chocolate therapy. We found it in the form of decadent drinking chocolate with handmade marshmallows. If you haven't had drinking chocolate before, go to Jacques' to try it. (Beware though, it pretty much turns to pudding as it comes to temp., Not necessarily a bad thing.) The shop is awash with orange and brown and bathed in a wonderful chocolate smell that makes me feel like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, like I have the last golden ticket. Mom, please don't read this next sentence.... This is Tim and I's foreplay, walking through our city and drinking chocolate. It's like God made chocolate just for us.

Downtown Atlantic, where dinner was fine, but what we really there for is DESSERT, cupcakes larger than most Ethiopian children, this is one yummy spot. (Also, I don't think anything on the menu tops $20) Saturday, we went for the cupcake reminiscent of the Hostess Cupcakes that everyone ate as kids. But these, these were BETTER, filled with a rich vanilla buttercream and topped with what can only be described as the best 7 minute icing ever! Even with the signature swirl.  It kept me quiet for a few minutes, which as any one of my friends can tell you, is an amazing feat.

As if that weren't enough, for dinner and dessert Tim and I went to

Where? You ask do I come by my rich love of this humble bean-cum-divine confection? Let me just tell you this, my aunt Vicki instilled in me at a very young age, the miraculous properties of this wonderful foodstuff. What, with her bottomless bowl of m&m's and perfect chocolate chip cookies, She is the originator of my obsession.

On a COMPLETELY different subject, everyone knows, how I believe in the powers of healthy living, (But obviously not without it's indulgences.) And about my love of exercise. Also, they know about my fear for the next generation of Americans being raised today. They are the first generation in a very long time that has the possibility of a shorter life expectancy than their parents. If people know this, than why? Why do they go around with their 5 year olds in STROLLERS?!?! IN THE MALL NO LESS?!?!?! It's not like they have the possibility of getting hit by a car, or running into any random, rabid animals. LET THEM WALK. God blessed them with legs for a reason! If they get used to being transported around like a Paris Hilton chihuahua, then they aren't ever going to want to walk and exercise. We are raising an entire generation of fat, lazy kids that wouldn't know a pair of running shoes from a pair of slippers. Even loads of parents in the so-called enlightened neighborhood of Park Slope, keep their kids locked into the strollers inside one of the largest parks in the city, Prospect Park. It's ridiculous. What is the point of all of the organic food and hormone free milk, if they just get diabetes in the end. Cascadian Farms can't prevent fat and lazy. So, go ahead, have some more Soy Crisps in front of that TV. I am sure you'll feel better about being heavy in 10 years. So, there was my tirade. I only get mad because of how much I love kids, and want to see them succeed.

Frozen Heroin Juice, Aka Pinkberry

This is the look of pure delicious addiction. Caught from my cell phone camera because of the fear of all of the "NO PHOTOGRAPHY" signage happening in the shop. I had to be covert, and hope that Cheney doesn't turn me over to the press and Scooter Libby. That cup of loveliness, that bucket of beauty is frozen yogurt (actual frozen yogurt, not soft serve ice cream) topped with pineapple, pomegranate, and blueberries, from Pinkberry. This is a frozen yogurt that delights the tastebuds with it's tangyness, that overwhelms you with happiness as you lap up the yogurt helpless to it's power over you. In short, it's the only ice cream that I will pay $6 for without getting so much as a song about a tip or a kiss on the cheek from a small italian. People in LA wait in line for as much as 45 minutes for this stuff. With three locations in NYC, you probably won't have to wait. I didn't. They have 2 choices for yogurt, green tea and vanilla, and about a dozen and a half toppings to choose from. Yum. Go.....NOW!

Youthful Sunshine......Sugar Sweet Sunshine.

I often remember the people of my past by the bread that I have broken with them. Whether they were in my life for a lifetime of meals and conversations, or if I have only met them briefly. Last Friday, at a great little bakery on the Lower East Side, Sugar Sweet Sunshine, I had one of these experiences. While enjoying some cupcakes with my husband, pistachio for him, and pumpkin for me.

About 4 years ago, I was in a small, but delightful coffee shop in Ohio, having a cafe au lait and wanting a cupcake, the cupcakes offered were way too large for any one person to eat, making a comment to the barista about how I wanted the pumpkin muffin, but it was way too big for me to finish, a woman beside me offered to share the cupcake with me. She was around 6o and very thin and frail, wearing a thick scarf around her head, the tell-tale signs of chemotherapy. I gladly accepted the offer, and purchased the cupcake even though she had offered to pay for half. As she cut the moist cake in half she told me that I reminded her of herself some 40 years previously, She said I was a rebel, and in her days her form of rebellion was protesting the war and marrying a rock star, mine was tattoos and tongue rings, while reading "Gourmet" magazine. She went on to tell me about how, since she started chemo, chocolate tastes like sticking a penny in your mouth and chewing on aluminum foil. And that the pumpkin cupcake finally tasted like what it should, pumpkin and not metal. And in that moment I realized that I was so lucky, not only to be able to be sharing this moment with this woman of whom could teach me so much about life in the face of death, but also how lucky I was just to be able to eat and taste at all. Food can bring us together in ways nothing else can. Everybody eats. In this climate of obesity, I wonder how much of it could be solved if we just sat down together to eat. Just gathered together and talked about our days and our lives and ate a homecooked meal, heck it doesn't even have to be homecooked, just not mcdonalds. Our lives are so busy and demanding, we need that time to unwind and relax with friends and family, or even make new friends.

That pumpkin cupcake in Ohio, was one of the best I have ever had. It was wonderful to recreate that feeling and taste with the delicious offerings at Sugar Sweet Sunshine.

A day at the Market....Chelsea Market.

Yesterday I had a funny thought, Hoboken will be the new Chelsea, I should buy now. (Tim and I totally are) All I have to say is GO NJ! And I thoroughly hope they call it marriage and not civil unions, we all deserve the same rights. I have often found it sad that I can be married legally and some of my best friends don't enjoy the same rights. New Jersey just got a heck of a lot gayer. Neat.

Speaking of Chelsea, I was at the Chelsea Market yesterday, grabbing a bite to eat and doing a little shopping. (Don't you just love the wholesale kitchen store and flower market?) For lunch I grabbed a quick bite at Chelsea Thai, devouring three yummy summer rolls overflowing with mint and cilantro, tofu and sprouts. Healthy, and super yummy.

While sitting in the main hallway of the market, enjoying my rolls and reading my book (Incidentally, another Augusten Burroughs memoir, "Dry", very good by the way, I am devouring it like Jeffrey Dahmer at an all you can eat penis and eyeball buffet.) And I feel a tugging at my pant leg, I look down and see a very cute curly headed child pulling on my pant leg.

"Ma'am, do you mind if I sit beside you to eat my gelaaaato?" The little boy, later learned to be Jasper, asked me.

"No, I don't mind sweetie, have a seat"

He didn't even spill on my Chip and Pepper's. While sitting beside this cute little guy, I see several of his cronies and their stay-at-home, (or in this case, the Chelsea Market) Mommies. Apart from my pang of jealousy I noticed something, Each child is the miniaturized carbon copy of their terminally hip parents. Clearly lullaby's of radiohead and the strokes played in THEIR nurseries.

I also bought the husband a Fat Witch s'more brownie, the size of my hand. He ate it in like 3 bites, I am lucky I got a pic.

By the way, has the meatpacking district intimidated anyone else but me? On my way down E 14th going to Bodum for some shopping I felt like a pair of payless shoes in Sarah Jessica Parkers closet, I just didn't belong. I hate that feeling. Elitists.

Dim Sum More....Tea....Mostly Boring

I have been soooo busy, I haven't had time to post. Mostly, I have been eating what you see here, tofu, salads, and whole grain breads. When I am busy and in a rush, LifeThyme Market and Whole Foods pretty much supplies me with all I need. I have made a few pitstops along the way. Like stopping at Sympathy For The Kettle, for a piping hot cup of butterscotch tea and a lavender bergamot muffin. The place is a cute little joint on the lower east side, serving several different types of tea and pastries. The tea and pastries are good but a smidge overpriced. (7$ for a hot tea and cupcake seems a bit steep to me) The cupcake was unique and tasty, but a little dense for my particular palate. The tea was lovely and delicious.

Then to the Vegetarian Dim Sum House in Chinatown. Sticky Rice and Wonton Soup were on the menu for this lunch, and although they slyly put chestnuts (YUCK!) in the sticky rice, the food was good. I can't say that it was the best dim sum I have had, far from it, but for what it was, it was good.

How boring am I? Eating healthy is maybe not as exciting as gorging on burgers and fries, but it is better. With all the reports on obesity and health crisis across the country, health is too important to pass up.

Peter Picked A Peck at Pickle Day, Zozo's

Ahh the smell of garlic, vinegar, and dill on a warm Sunday afternoon.  I LOVE a good pickle, and not those mamsy pansy, made overnight in heated sugar/vinegar pickles, but, real, barrel aged pickles. Sours, half-sours, hots, new, and sweet and sours, pickles overfloweth. My first pick of my particular peck, (and if you ask me, the best on the planet) were a quart of half sours and sours. Where did I get them? The only place where they remember your name and order no matter who's running the shop, the place where cucumbers get their own "extreme makeover", legend of screen and urbane readings, the god of all things preserved, Guss' Pickles. We waited in line for about 15 minutes for a sampling of pickles and to take home the gorgeous quart. The sixth annual lower east side pickle day was a total success for me, even if it did have to compete with the Columbus Avenue Street Festival, the Atlantic Antic Street Festival, and the Save Darfur with Blue Hats rally. (Don't get me started on that one!)

Alas, woman can not live on pickles alone. For lunch we went to Zozo's on Orchard St in the Lower East Side. A cute, counter service restaurant with a cheerful interior and lovely, strong iced tea. (A very often overlooked beverage.) I ordered the grilled eggplant and portabella sandwich.  They didn't have a whole grain option so it was served on buttered, (much to my surprise) Italian bread. The sandwich was good, but I would have preferred non buttered whole grain bread and some sort of vinaigrette. Tim had a swiss burger on an English muffin and garlic fries and he very much liked them.  I thought that the portion size of the regular fries was crazy, but Tim loved them.

On a different note, did anyone catch the "Rachael Ray" show today? I thought it was pretty good, though I hear she is difficult to work for. (Though I bet if she were a man, they would just say that he was a strong leader.) Oh, and

HAPPY EIGHTY-FOURTH BIRTHDAY, MAMA! I love you very, very much!

NY Burger Company, Cafe Arome, Bouchon Bakery

Dinner on Friday nights is often way later than I would like and pulled together very quickly. Tonight was no exception. I was pleasantly surprised when Tim and I went to The New York Burger Company where I had a "mediterranean veggie salad" and Tim had a cheese burger and fries. My salad was topped with a chickpea burger, crasins, and a low fat dill yogurt dressing. The burger was surprisingly moist for a veggie patty, and though the salad dressing reminded me of tzatziki sauce for gyros, it went well with the cold, crunchy salad. The salad was a good size and value, (especially so late in the evening) Tim also enjoyed his burger on the brioche bun and fries very much, so much so that he wanted to order another.....(he didn't...I gave him the "eye") The employees were especially friendly, and the restaurant had a lovely abundance of condiments, including some strange ones such as "chipotle honey". (I am guessing it's for the grilled chicken they serve) *Gross note* While we were there a father/daughter combo came in and grabbed an entire CUP of pickles and mayo and dipped the pickles in the mayo and ate them straight up like that! Then they WENT BACK FOR MORE!! To me it was like watching fish in a tank eat their own defecate. I was really quite ready to gag.

After dinner Tim and I walked downtown and headed into Aroma, the newish Israeli transplant on Wooster and Houston in Soho. This place is pretty neat with a very strange menu (from burekas to croissants) but specializing in gourmet coffee. I ordered a cappucino, and it was really good. I especially enjoyed the tulip design they somehow created out of the froth. Possibly the only flower I am not allergic to, (though I do have a touch of the lactose intolerance, so maybe not.) The interior is nice, if not a little strange. (The harsh lighting throws off the chic interior.) It's kind of like the smell of beer in an AA meeting, it just doesn't work.

I thought that I would also mention how much Tim and I love Bouchon Bakery's macaroons. It's a lighter dessert that we love to share.

I will note as well that I HATE the mouth assaulting coconut variety of macaroons. People have told me that I would like certain varieties of coconut macaroons, but I haven't had one that I didn't hate. But I do love the light and airy french variety, little clouds of cocoa or whatever flavor they happen to be.

*Completely off the subject, I am currently watching my tivo-ed "Nanny 911" and I am about to fly to Atlanta to open up a can on this father/husband and put their oldest in some form of "make this holy terror a nice kid" boot camp.